Ex Post Facto

I wish my head would stop spinning.

The world falls silent -
It happens all of a sudden
And there's little time to figure out what's actually going wrong.

When I say my head, I'm actually referring to my ears.
It is in the ears where the world spins.
It is in the ears where the ringing begins.

The legs seem to hold the weight,
But for how long? - The brain asks.
If you look in the mirror, you'll find your eyes right in their sockets,
But the eyes know the body is going out of its orbit.

Will I faint?
The brain is asking itself,
But the brain doesn't know for sure.
What should be done with the body?
- The brain asks itself again.
Stand still? Sit down? Lie?
Hold onto something?
It's a gamble.

Meanwhile the brain shuffles among choices, another thought presents itself.

If I faint,
What state will I be found in?
What if I'm naked -
I don't want to be found naked and all passed out?
What if the clothes I am wearing aren't really passing out clothes?
Do I really need to look good passed out?
How exactly do I pass out, anyway?
With my eyes rolling up?
Or simply crash on the floor?

Seriously? - The brain asks again.

But I find myself sitting.
I know I am sitting,
But I don't remember when I sat.

It's weird that I'm not actually fainting.
It feels like that my head is made of cotton
And so is my body - bones, muscles and all.
Moving any part seems to be a lot of trouble.
I can move my arms, and speak too,
But I don't know what I am saying or that if I'm speaking nonsense.
Why am I not fainting?
Is it bad?
Or is it actually good?
I'm closing my eyes, but I can still open them
And look around.
I can easily see what's happening around me.
My brain is still solving its poly-lemma.

Wow, now my stomach (or bowels? hard to say) is feeling weird.
It seems consistent,
Not growing, staying the way it is.
Seriously? - I ask my body.
Here I am trying to turn the cotton back to protein and calcium,
And my body is having urges to take a shit.
Like right now.

Body, please shut up.

Brain, how long?

Brain: Still working on it.

What can I do to get rid of all this things I am feeling?

Brain: Idk. Take a shit, maybe?

No, brain.
I like cotton candy, but I don't like to be turned into one.
I mean, me-flavored cotton candy?
Even Willy Wonka won't approve.

Brain: Stay where you are.

Yeah, as if I'm getting ready for a 400 meter Olympic marathon.

Brain: ....

I'm sweating.
Why am I sweating, brain?

Brain: .....

It feels cold.
Icy cold.
It feels as if my sweat glands have been turned into ice
And now they're having a meltdown.

Brain: Good news!
Cotton to protein, cotton to calcium transformation successful!

Yay!
I feel a bit weak.
But that's okay.

All of this suddenly feels like a dream.
Was it all real?
Or was I dreaming?
Brain, do you know anything.

Brain: Enough for today.